Monday, 5 September 2016

Please excuse the mess, my child and boyfriend live here

I hate mess. Fact. Being a Mum means that inevitably there is always some form of mess in the house whether it's toys, food or of the urine variety. There are shreddies strewn about the floor, various bits of toys dotted inadvertently everywhere, I dread to think of how much shit is under my sofa. I keep on top of it because I literally feel my sanity slipping when there's lego, bits of fake food and colouring pencils EVERYWHERE. I like everything organised, even if it's organised mess (think Monica's closet in 'Friends'.) Nothing makes me cringe more than when you lose something down the side of the sofa and you stick your hand down there only to feel 'bits' (literally nearly vommed writing that.) I couldn't live without a packet of disinfectant wipes and brightly coloured modelling compound is my mortal enemy. 

Of course it goes without saying that I let my daughter play and make mess and explore (just not with play-doh if I can help it) and even when it pains me to watch her tidy up and put things in the wrong place, I still cheer and woop over-enthusiatically when she gets me to close my eyes and open them again when she's finished, her face beaming with pride! 

My Daughter makes mess and I have to be fine with that. My boyfriend on the other hand, not so much. Legend has it that when he lived on his own for the first time his Mum had to take all of his crockery and cutlery off him bar one of each as he wouldn't wash up for weeks on end. There could be an elephant turd in the front room and he would still plonk his arse down on the sofa none-the-wiser. Don't get me wrong, he has many a redeeming quality (good cook, makes a good cup of tea etc) he just doesn't SEE mess. I suspect this is the case for alot of men (and some women too- no sexism here.) I have friends that I could literally rant all day with. We would exasperate ourselves questioning WHY DON'T THEY SEE THE MESS AND CLEAN IT UP?! I could list the differences between my obsessive need to tidy and his obsessive need to NOT tidy but that would take me all day and there's lego on the floor, peppa pig dominos scattered everywhere and crusty shreddies dried into the table not to mention a bathroom that needs cleaning. 

So what do you do? Well, you accept them for who they are because quite frankly they probably think that being overly clean and tidy is just as psychotic. I have though, had the pleasure of putting together an exclusive little collection of pictures entitled 'If my boyfriend's mess could talk'. If you can relate to this, I feel for you. If you've never had the pleasure of living with a messy bloke and you are considering it, I advise you to tell him studies have proven that men who take the bins out get laid considerably more than those who don't. 

Sadly since the taking of these photographs, the toothpaste pot has been smashed (not by me) 

 The Kitschy Mumma

My Random Musings

My Random Musings

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