Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Just the one please...

When people ask me if I'm going to have another child I always say the same thing, "No, I like my sleep too much". This is very true, but definitely not the only reason. I'm a Mum of one and I have no desire to have another baby for a number of reasons
  • Pregnancy is horrific. 
  • Giving birth is horrific
  • The lack of sleep is horrific
  • The constant googling because you haven't got a fucking clue how to take care of such a tiny human being is draining. "My baby has a rash" "My baby is not drinking all of her milk" "How can I stop the milk dribbling down the side of my baby's mouth when shes having her bottle?" (Yes I did google this once. Or twice)
  • You will NEVER feel refreshed again. Ever. 
 Before kidsAfter kids
  • You won't be able to watch Loose Women or Escape to the country without hearing "I want CBeebies" over and over again like a parrot on acid.
  • You will find yourself humming the tunes to 'Show me show me' and 'Me Too' and you won't be able to stop yourself. "I'm on my way to work today.." You'll wish you bloody were!
  • The 'Mum guilt' is a feeling like no other. You feel guilty that you're not feeding them the right food, you feel guilty if someone babysits them so you can have a few hours of to gain some sanity back to your life. You feel guilty that you don't take them out enough. Especially when you see some other Mum posts on Facebook about how they've been out collecting leaves and sticks and they've created a leaf and stick collage that is so bloody wonderful while you've been sat in the house watching re-runs of 'Bing' on catch-up.
  • The worrying
My last point is the main reason. The worrying. I can't imagine loving another human being as much as I love my Daughter, and then having to worry about them as much. It is debilitating but it's normal I know. If I didn't worry I'd be seriously questioning myself as a person. The sleepless nights, the bottles, the nappies, the show tunes, the applying of sudocreme to sore arses, it all stops eventually. The worrying is there forever. I'm a glass-half-empty (if you like cliches) person. I wake up with a bad feeling and convince myself that something horrendously life-changing is going to happen. If I'm walking home past 9'o'clock at night and someone happens to be walking behind me I'll envisage myself on an episode of Forensic Files as the young Mum snatched minutes away from her home with a really cringy episode title like "Gone Mummy Gone". Of course my paranoia isn't all of me, I have alot of other personality traits that make me a friggin' delight to be around (most of the time) 

I worry that she'll get snatched, get dehydration if she doesn't drink enough, get cancer, get caught up in a blind cord (even though I don't have blinds) I worry that she will get meningitis, that she may run behind a car as it is reversing and get run over, that she will choke on her food, that she will pass away in her sleep, that she will fall down the stairs. If she happens to sleep past half 7 (a rarity) and I happen to wake up naturally (an even bigger rarity) my first instinct is to run to her room and check on her. If I'm at work and I hear a fire engine or an ambulance I will think that something terrible has happened at her nursery. I worry that as an only child, she will grow up not knowing what it's like to have a sibling to confide in/bicker with/chinese burn when they're doing your head in (even though she has a brother and sister on her Dad's side). I avoid reading news articles about children being harmed or killed or abducted as it fuels my paranoia more. I understand that to some, I may seem over-paranoid and crazy but I have a feeling I am not alone. I have googled a few times "I'm so scared my child will die before me" and read the forums and opinions of like-minded Mums. There were people on there saying how thinking in this way is causing harm to our children even though we are paranoid because we are shit scared of them coming to harm. They are perfectly valid in saying this and they are correct. Sub-consciously I am teaching my Daughter to fear the world even if all I want is her to be safe and loved and never feel scared. 

A therapist once told me to break my concerns down to see how rational they really are. So when I said I was reluctant to let my Daughter go away for a couple of nights on holiday without me as I was worried she may get up in the night and there could be a carrier bag left about that she could potentially put over her head (yes I know I'm irrational and go completely over the top) she told me to break it down
  1. What's the chances of her waking up and getting out of bed.
  2. If she did get out of bed how likely is it that she will leave her room without being heard.
  3. If she did leave her room, what are the chances of there being a carrier bag lying about
  4. Has she ever gone near a carrier bag before (the answer being no), is she likely to put one over her head?
This method helps me alot when I my mind running is faster than Usain Bolt and jumping to all sorts of ridiculous conclusions although it doesn't always work. I know I will never stop worrying, all I can do is try and control it. The reason we worry is because we love our kids so bloody much and even though they drive us effing mental and we may say "I need a fucking break", we wouldn't be without them. Parenting is a bloody hard job. It's draining but amazing in equal measures (well maybe 60/40). Everybody's experience of parenting is different. Some people love the baby stage (I for one do not), some people love being pregnant (nope don't get that either). All that matters is that we're raising well-rounded, confident children and I will be doing all that I can to try and curb the bitch that is my own irrational mind. People seem confused when I say I don't want another child but it's each to their own. 

Plus if there's ever a zombie apocalypse it's nice to have just the one to worry about.

The Kitschy Mumma

Diary of an imperfect mum
Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Sunday, 28 August 2016

Creativity is contagious, pass it on...

"Creativity is contagious, pass it on" is one of my favourite Albert Einstein quotes. My 'creative streak' is something I've been developing alot of over the past few months. First by designing and selling greetings cards and prints (can't draw for shit but I'm pretty handy with Microsoft Paint). I then set up this blog which has helped me re-discover my love of writing and opened up a whole new world of 'blogging' to me. I'm also a firm believer in re-using furniture and giving it a new purpose- a lick of paint and you can totally transform something. I have many pieces of furniture in my house that are second-hand (some probably seventh hand they're so old) that I have 're-vamped' myself. I get a sense of achievement whenever I glance at them. It's a pretty good feeling when someone compliments something that you put alot of thought and effort into. When my Daughter grew out of her toddler bed, I just thought "ah I'll sell it easy" but it hadn't really occured to me to re-purpose it. The bed didn't sell (I'm not sure if it's a bit garish being a bright pink sleigh bed) and I had it stood on end in her room for ages.

My friend saw it in my Daughter's room and assumed I was turning it into a wardrobe (probably because I'm always up to something) and I dismissed the idea at first, and then my OCD said "I can't stand looking at it stood awkwardly on end blocking the pretty vibe of the room any longer and this will look bloody good on my instagram if I can pull it off" (I jest, I jest- sort of) and set to work. My exasperated boyfriend declared "what the bloody hell are you up to now" (he still did the drilling though ha!)
Out came the masking tape and with a bit of trial and error regarding colours I settled on light grey and a dark grey chalk paint. I'm an absolute bugger for just buying a £1 tester pot of paint and hoping for the best (surprisingly they never let me down) but I splurged on the chalk paint as you dont have to sand or prime and quite frankly, I'm a lazy little shit when it comes to that. Originally the colours were going to be horizontally separated but by chance I painted something wrong which lead me to think that diagonally would look much sleeker and a little bit different. Once the two rails had been drilled in, I purchased different coloured triangle decals to stick on in random places. I absolutely LOVE those triangle wall decals where they're just applied all over the wall but being in a rented house would mean too much effort taking them off again should I move. I chose white and gold and only applied them to the pink part of the furniture. They have completely transformed it and only cost £1.80 for 30. 

This has by far been my favourite project so far and there's one thing I know for sure, my daughter will be stuck with it until she moves out. Alot of love and effort and rolling eyes from the boyfriend has gone into it- that's something you can't put on Gumtree. 

The creativity of blogging is different to re-purposing furniture but boy is it something amazeballs! We are all living different lives within different family dynamics but connecting together through writing to share our experiences and offer advice, some solace and humour to others. That is one type of creativity that is definitely contagious.

The Kitschy Mumma

Cuddle Fairy

Saturday, 27 August 2016

What is this blogging malarkey...

Thought I'd see what this blogging malarkey is. I'm not even sure I'm doing this right by introducing myself on a blog post. I probably look like a blog wanker now.

I'm a Mum of one daughter (just the one- I like my sleep too much) She has hair as crazy as her personality. She has a frown that could turn milk into acid and disintegrate a steel bathtub but I couldn't be without her.

I like being creative. Doing crafty shit. I bloody love interior design, my boyfriend hates me because everytime he comes home from work something has been moved or painted or changed (he doesn't like change)
I make and sell greetings cards (rude ones not lovingly hand-crafted ones with bows and buttons and shit) 
I  love pastel colours, they give me a funny feeling in my tummy.
I'm one of those sad arses that enjoys making memes and putting rude captions on photos. 
I'm opinionated, can be a bit of a gobshite maybe but my heart is made of 100 carat gold and if you can make me laugh I will like you forever. Well, maybe not forever but I'll like you for a reasonable amount of time.

I'm not gonna lie, I've probably made myself sound like a lame-arse and I don't have a clue what the point of this blog is. It will probably be me just rambling on but I will be doing posts about my craft projects. Interior design stuff. Maybe some reviews. Posts about "Mom life" (although there's about a million mummy-bloggers out there so I should probably leave that up to them)

If you've read this far then I commend you. I realise that I've probably used the word 'I' about 45 times already so I sound like a bit of a narcissist. I'm not- promise!

The Kitschy Mumma